Weeknotes #6: The self-fulfilling November
I have this theory about November, and the theory is this: it sucks. It's the worst month. Nothig good happens in November: bad news in the family, various diseases, elections. I've been tracking my daily mood for the last few years and November is, without fail, always one of the worst months.
I bring this up because right now I've got a nasty, sinus-y cold and I've decided to be the biggest baby possible about it. I have spent the last few days lying on my sofa, watching crap, eating soup and wallowing in self-pity. Earlier I left my house for the first time in days so I could walk 10 minutes to the shops and I was so winded when I got back. At least the covid tests are coming back negative.
As well as feeling physically bad, being ill also means that I'm not keeping up with all my various plans and commitments and hobbies and that feels mentally bad. I sacked off a gig this week and I might have to do the same thing tomorrow (which will be really shit because it's one I've been really looking forward to).
This also tends to activate my worst tendencies when it comes to beating myself up. Foolish, frail mortal! What do you mean, you can't go to the gym?? Shame, shame!
Hyperfixation, come back to me
Progress on the book has totally fallen off a cliff. I can't believe that a few weeks ago, I was confident I'd finish this off by the end of November. You'd think I'd be used to the 0/100 way my brain works by now, but it still gets me every time.
ADHD, you fickle bastard. As Lucinda Williams once sang, "You took my joy and I want it back."
Fashion corner
Before I got a cold, the weather got cold. This is mostly okay by me because it means I finally get to break out some of my coats, including one I haven't really had a chance to wear yet. I went second-hand shopping in Vienna this summer and it was over 30 degrees Celsius, and I walked into a vintage shop saying, "The one thing I shouldn't buy is another leather jacket", and so naturally I bought another leather jacket. Or coat, I guess, since it comes down to the tops of my thighs, which I think takes it out of jacket territory.
The thing about this coat is that its creator considered every design element they could deploy and then decided to use them all. It's a light brown, almost golden shade of leather, but it has all these darker blotches all over it. It's from the 80s, so it has enormous sleeves and a cocoon-like cut, and it has these strange flaps and vents running down from the shoulders that almost remind me of pauldrons. It's arguably the most hideous coat anyone has ever made and I don't think anyone else even likes it. I love it. It makes me feel like I'm an extra in Andor or Mad Max or something, and it is perfect for stalking around town in a pair of combat boots feeling like I'm in some kind of sci-fi dystopia (which, arguably...)
I think this might be the main reason I like colder weather, actually: fun coats.
Should I do some kind of fashion section for this site? Outfits or favourite items of clothing or something? I get most of my outfit inspo from Tiktok at the moment but I do kinda miss the fashion blogs of old (also there's no way I'm making Tiktoks lol).
Film corner
I always have this idea that when I'm ill, I'm going to watch some good classic movies, but the only one I've gotten around to is The Night of the Hunter, which I enjoyed. The lighting and cinematography is really stunning. Also it brings me up to 69 watched out of 250 on the Letterboxd Top 250, so that's pretty nice.
Calling it a classic movie would probably be a push, but I also rewatched Rap World, which is an extremely funny and terrifyingly accurate recreation of late-00s American suburbia, and also just certain types of people that inhabited that place and time. The film is a low-budget mockumentary about three losers trying to record a rap album on a single night in 2009. It was shot on period-accurate camcorders and looks like it was edited in Windows Movie Maker, complete with Impact intertitles.
I love Rap World and I think it's really neat and I'm always trying to get people to watch it, especially since it's free to watch on YouTube and it's less than an hour long.
✨Some of the best nights of my life were being had in parking lots.✨
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