A funny thing happened on the way to the dungeon
I've been playing D&D with the same group of people since lockdown. Like most D&D parties, we often take a novel approach to problem solving. Here's some of the shit we've gotten up to in our current campaign.
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The Fighter kept some gold coins from an obviously cursed chest and became obsessed with a beautiful but evil entity called My Lady. The entity repeatedly demanded that gifts be thrown into the sea, including gemstones, oil paintings, a telescope and a wheel of stolen cheese. This resulted in the Fighter being repeatedly thrown in the brig.
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The Rogue killed a sea monster by throwing a potato with high velocity and perfect aim.
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The party was attacked by 6ft tall seagulls, but defeated them by running up a spiral staircase really quickly and then setting fire to the stairs. (The seagulls were not good at walking up stairs.)
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The Barbarian was thrown overboard by pirates and survived by clinging to flotsam for several weeks before washing ashore on a remote island, thoroughly charming the elderly lady who ruled it, and feasting on cheese until the rest of the party showed up.
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The Bard electrocuted a magically-controlled suit of armour out of curiosity and accidentally created a sentient robot. After experiencing an ethical crisis, the Bard taught the robot to play the drums.
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The party won a pirate ship in a series of pub games and then recruited a crew from the Pirate Old Folks' Home.
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Sick of the Fighter's shit, the party explored a sunken lighthouse in an attempt to lift My Lady's curse. The Fighter found and tried to conceal a jar with a limpet in it, but the Bard snatched and destroyed it – immediately releasing a very ancient and very evil body-hopping entity that the players had trapped in the body of said limpet during a different campaign many years ago. (On the plus side, the Fighter's curse was lifted.)
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While fleeing from dragons, the party made a pact with the fae to pass through their special forest. The Sorcerer then immediately cast Fireball on the dragons and set the forest on fire, much to the fae's displeasure.
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The party got into beef with the manager of the Pirate Old Folks' Home and considered opening a competing Pirate Old Folks' Home in retaliation.
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The very ancient and very evil body-swapping entity attacked the party in spectral form. The Rogue threw a bedsheet over the entity to make it look like a cartoon ghost. The Cleric paralysed the entity with Hold Person. The Bard tied the entity up in the bedsheet with ropes. The Fighter knocked the entity prone. The Barbarian climbed up the furniture just to jump off it and bodyslam the entity, and then the Sorcerer finished it off with Witch Bolt. The entity failed every single one of its saving throws for several rounds straight and died without getting a single hit in.
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The party explored a dungeon designed by a five year old with a terrifyingly detailed knowledge of the Monster Manual and was almost killed by A Cave That Was Also A Vampire.
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The party had to traverse a narrow underwater tunnel with a monster at the bottom. The Cleric solved the problem by waiting until the tunnel started veering slightly upwards and then casting Waterwalk on the whole party. The party rocketed through the rest of the tunnel at 60ft per round and shot through the surface like corks, much to the monster's total confusion.
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