Flame War Theater

Flame War Theater is a series produced by the YouTube channel Mega64 that recreates great posting wars from old internet forums, down to the last typo.

These "actments" are presented against a formal black backdrop, giving the whole affair the solemnity of a minimalist theatre production. The actors bring their anonymous characters vividly to life with fine costumes and thespian flair. When the flame wars inevitably escalate to the point of moderator intervention, the mod appears bedecked in a golden crown, like the prince showing up at the end of Romeo and Juliet to insist all parties make peace.

A man scowls. Below, a forums post from user IllidR says, "Prepare for flamage..."

All of the flame wars are so stupid and yet the people engaging in them are so angry. You can easily picture them typing away furiously at the family computer while their mothers issue increasingly exasperated calls that their dinners are growing cold. Having them face off on stage with all the gravitas of a Sophocles tragedy (or, at the very least, a community theatre production of Cats) makes sense when the feuds are already being taken just as seriously by everyone involved.

Personally I think this series is hilarious. Rewatching my favourite episodes always makes me laugh, and my partner and I still quote certain lines from it to each other.

Two men in historical costume are physically fighting. Below, a post says, "ur on man I'LL C U IN TEH ARENA"

Mega64 produced 23 episodes of the series in 2018 and 2019 before moving on, but I still hope they'll revisit it some day. (Also I kinda wish I'd bought one of those Flame War Theater logo t-shirts.) Oh well. At least I still have Todd & Aaron.

Here are some of my favourite episodes:

"Full Body Workout Every Other Day?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqylqmDl0Mw

In what is arguably one of the most infamous forums threads ever, a discussion on bodybuilding.com devolves into a mindblowing debate on the very nature of time. TheJosh vs Justin-27 is a stunning clash of intellectual titans, truly worthy of the stage.

A robe-wearing man clutches a calendar while another man with a sword on his belt screams in frustration. Below, a forums post from user Justin-27 asks, "How many days are in 2 weeks moron?"

"Naruto Haters"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_4tK09C_Cc

A challenge on an anime forum escalates rapidly. Is there any burn more savage than "ive seen your myspace your a fucking joke dude"? (Turns out, yes.)

A man points a gun at another man, who is clutching a sword. Below, a forums post says, "hey jackass why dont you flame on myspace"

"Dead Or Alive Nude Cheat"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2uJ_eM0_64

This one isn't much of a flame war but the line delivery is so funny to me. "Dutch sumari you son of a bitch"!!!

Three people in costumes are sitting at a table and laughing. Below, a forums post from user Bladefire says, "you people are sick...and so am i damn hahaha..."

"Nubs"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0elnxvJVMzk

Do people still get mad about newbs, noobs and n00bs (or in this case, "nubs")? Or have we forgotten the old ways? Thankfully this production brings "teh nuubiest gui ever" back to life. Derrick really is the series MVP.

A man in Tudor costume grimaces with rage. Below, a forums post says, "I could say the same to u mister" with a red smiley face that matches his grimace

If you have any nostalgia for old 90s and 00s forums, or if you just think they sucked, then you should watch Flame War Theater. And if you don't, well... I'll C U IN TEH ARENA.